When Burden Is Shed

By GAYATRI PAGDI

Each one of us has gone through a time in life when we felt that things were getting on top of us, we couldn’t cope anymore, or life was not worth living.

Our reasons differ: personal illness, chronic sickness of a loved one, disappointments or losses at work, or in business, letdowns in relationships... Whatever the reasons, it seems that life is cruel and there is no way out.

The feeling of sadness often depends on a given, or not given situation -- sometimes there is an obvious depression.

While trying to cope with a situation like this, it seems important that we voice our feelings instead of keeping them to us.

Sharing, especially while under stress, is a powerful part of healing. Initially, it can be painful because it brings to the fore all the raw emotions and the pain. But, sharing them is healthier than bottling them up.

Some people prefer to talk to those who are familiar with them, or issues involved, others opt for strangers, those totally removed from the happening. It could be an uninvolved friend, an acquaintance on the ‘Net, or even a fellow traveller in the train.

It is important to share, but one needs to keep a balance while doing this. People who are extremely stressed, to the point of illness, often oppress others with their woes, however real. One, therefore, needs to be careful to see that they are not “victimising” the sympathetic listener by their talk.

There are possibilities of the listener too being drained by what is being told to them, especially if it becomes a regular feature. The natural tendency of people, then, is to avoid such a woeful person. This increases isolation and stress of the one who is already stressed.

There is also a danger at times -- talking to the wrong people. They don’t really care and might make comments that could be brusque. There are also possibilities of people sharing somebody else’s stress with many others as gossip, or idle talk. It might even turn into an entertainment for them. All this would end up making a stressed mind more stressed.

What does one do in such a situation? The best ears to listen to you are those of a professional counsellor, a psychiatrist, or a stress management consultant. Their job is to listen to you and help you heal.

There is no shame in seeking the help of an expert.

A time may also come when what had stressed you gets detached -- so much so, you may even smile at it. When this happens, you are well on your way to recovery.